Sarcastic Clapping











{November 10, 2009}   Have I just become a cynical hater?

For the past week or so I have been confused and sitting staring at my computer screen in a daze.  And surprisingly it was not because of really stupid spoilers or rumors or reading a live thread about what was happening on GH while I was at work.  No my confusion my friends is a source much closer to home for me. 

With a disturbing regularity, bloggers and columnists who’s opinion I admire and respect, people who as a rule tend to not play the ass kissing game so many other soap journalists play all the time, people who are not afraid to say GH sucks, is broken and needs fixing, are saying that the episodes leading up to Claudia’s disturbing murder were good and even one called it Emmy worthy. Oh Nelson Branco, why have you foresaken me???  And Sarah Bibel of Deep Soap?  What the hell? Did you get paid off?

Now to be fair not all my favorites have abandoned me. Mala Bhattajharee (try spell checking that name!) from SOW has been regularly shuddering on her own blog, Twitter account and the SOW online newsletter. And Marlena Delacrouix has seen nothing but “sweeps ala Guza a gogo”.  And my girls at Serial Drama are with me.  But the number of people who found redemable and admirable things in epsiodes where a man carefully and methodically set up a mentally ill woman to pay for an accident that was the result of Sonny’s usual half-cocked no thought required revenge scheme, with liberal use of the words “whore”, “bitch” and “slut” culminating in a teenager killing his stepmother with a mother effing axe instead of reacting with horror and vitriolic anger at the same old same old has me wondering….

Have I turned into the hater that TIIC think all internet viewers are?  Am I now offically impossible to please? 

Let’s examine the evidence:

Sonny finally gets confirmation that Claudia is indeed behind the hit that resulted in Michael being shot in the head.  Sonny has been suspecting this for some time.  He is also aware of Claudia’s background as a daughter of the mob and her ease and comfort with guns, given she just threatened some random rival mob goons while on “the island’. (Oh Puerto Rico, how I never ever want to visit you now!) Now I will give the show credit that Sonny did not immediately react with a barware throwing tempertantrum.  That was unexepected.

But what does he do? He plans a birthday party, inviting the most random collection of guests to a mob party ever, including the mayor, the former DA, his children,  a former business partner he held personally responsible for the last kidnapping and near death experience Michael went through and two doctors who he only occassionally interacts with while we are supposed to feel sorry for him.   He of course has invited his ever trusty hitman St. Jason of the Holy Silencer.  And because no party is complete without the threat of karaoke now….Spinelli and Maxie.  In the middle of this party for his wife, he begins a bizare monologue all about himself and his relationships, including talking about relationships this show has not taken care to show in about five years.  He then pubically outs Claudia as the person who ordered the hit that caused Michael to end up in a coma and calmly orders his guards to take her away….while not exactly ordering a hit in front of witnesses, it’s pretty damn close.   Also the use of “bitch”, “whore” and “slut” reach heights you didn’t know GH could climb.

To the shock of only the deaf, blind and stupid, Claudia figures out this would be a bad idea.  No one ever said “slut” and “bitch” meant stupid.  And she takes a hostage.  Pregnant Carly because when all else fails, always take the high risk pregnant “center” of the show because we won’t give a shit otherwise.  Sonny does not call the police, nor does anyone else it seems at the party.  All eyes fall to Jason to save poor poor Carly.  Jax and Sonny get into the middle of the most ridiculous pissing match of all time over who should watch the boys, while neither look  for high risk pregnant Carly. Jason almost shoots a mother and her children based on a mis-identified car which caused his 9 billionth crisis of confidence since about ohh the brain clusters of 2005.  Michael cause he is brave and true and strong and so like Sonny and Jason, magically finds Carly when no one else can and takes Claudia out with a mother effing axe.

Have I missed the part that is good?  Cause I can not see what the hell is different about this sweeps start than any other one GH has ever done.  Oh sure the sainted three right now are so concerned about what will happen to Michael…..and are absolutely dumbfounded that he’s not phased by this or worried about anything.  Don’t know why since you know he’s not ever faced a consequence in his life. And yes Jason is having the realization that he helped screw Michael up epically, which would be good if A – his revelations weren’t told to Sam who’s replaced Liz in the role of cheerleader to say the most demented things ever to make sure we know Jason is different. He has a good heart GH? Really? or B – he hasn’t had this exact revalation about a billion and one times during the never-ending saga of Secret Pain over Jake.  Seriously, weren’t roughly half of Jiz’s exhaustive repeated conversations about exactly that?  And didn’t all of them have the exact same revelations when Faith kidnapped Michael, Morgan and Molly? 

It’s the flipping same old same old.  It’s sweeps, which seems to escape the notice of these people who praise the latest twists on GH.  Guza always submitts sweeps episodes for Emmys.  Of course he’s going to wake up and write for this sweeps. What is he going to submit if he doesn’t? Toxic Balls that causes universal laughter?  The Carn-evil complete with Jason’s Walk of Pain and Heartbreak?  Yeah those will work.  Not to mention both of those stunts feature Greg Vaughan’s Lucky and I’m pretty sure GH doesn’t want to bring up that can of worms when trying to gimmick an Emmy. 

But there is always the chance that I have become the whiney never satisfied Internet hater the show always complains about.  I mean I am no fan of the mob storylines and don’t hestitate to say so, and admit I want to spend most of my time fast forwarding them all together. I aslo admit so far the highlight of sweeps for me was the absolute ridiculousness of Liz’s dream of Lucky shooting Nikolas. 

But I just don’t think I have. 

Have I?

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tana says:

followed your link from serial drama…and no you are not a hater….guza has RUINED gh. i tried to explain that scenario (claudia from start to death by axe and sonny’s atta boy to mikey) to someone and they looked at me like i was crazy.



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