Sarcastic Clapping

{February 2, 2010}   Family is who you choose…unless Sonny or Jason is related to you.

You know at one time….there was a phrase that if I never ever head it uttered on GH I would be incerdibly happy.  And not because I don’t understand and beleive whole-heartedly in the concept of it.  But because of the way it was preverted to justify Michael being stolen from AJ and the Qs and the idea that raising a child in the mob was totes better than raising them in a dysfunction yet hysterical wealthy family.  I think you know the one I am referring to. Sonny, Jason and Carly used to stop the show almost daily to impart this knowledge on us whenever someone might accidentally wonder if the Qs might want to see Michael or had a right to talk to Jason.

“Family is who you choose, not who you are bound to by DNA”

It was almost a daily frigging mantra for these three.  It got to the point that the most laughable part of the Carly/Lulu bond was the very idea that Carly would even be loosely considered a Spencer since she never ever claimed them or used the name. 

And then Jake happened.  And suddenly Jason’s biological tie to the child became the be all end all consideration to the entire town who knew the secret.  So everyone but Edward, Monica, Tracey and Alexis.  Now I know the argument is that Jason just now understood the importance of biological ties when he missed his own father dying to avenge Sonny against Jerry Jax/ Mr. Craig.  And he was all aghast that Elizabeth asked him to step away from the baby when he struggled so hard with seperating from Michael when he gave him up after kidnapping him.

Right Mac?  Arguging that when he kidnapped a child was just insane.  But then everyone else started weighing in on how Jason would never be happy with giving up Jake….that Jake would never be happy without knowing Jason’s maginificance….dayplayers stopped in the street to talk about how since children didn’t run screamign from him at sight that meant clearly he was the most wonderful father on Earth.  All because he donated sperm.  And didn’t change his life for said child or ever offer to. 

But then that insanity kind of died when Jiz broke up and Jason moved back to Sam and seemed to completely forget Jake existed.  And we all breathed a heavy sigh of relief.   

Too soon.  I spoke way too soon.

First we had the contract dictated insert Jason into this storyline he really doesn’t need to be in scenes where because Elizabeth showed extreme bad judgement and a possible undiagnosised mental illness by sleeping with Nik (hmmmm finding Nik attractive is only possible if you are mentally ill.  I’m down with it!) meant that it was the perfect time for Jason to come running in, grabbing a toddler who has no fecking clue who he is, separating said toddler from not only his mother, the only father he’s ever known, his brother, his great grandmother and his uncle, and this was all considered something to be considered! 

Sometimes the Duh Face is the only answer.

And now we have come to the over-arching action of the last three days on this show. The “penultimate” , “cosmic guffaw” of a reveal that Dante is not only an undercover cop but also Sonny’s son.  (Just me who thinks Guza just opened up a dictonary to random pages, didn’t bother to actually read the definitions and just thinks these words go together?)  First Sonny was flabbergasted that Olivia would keep something like his son from him!  What had he ever done to deserve that he wondered. You know besides being an unrepentant thug who wanted to be a criminal and who was dating her cousin?  Details I know.  Then Sonny oh so helpfully pointed out that if he had known Dante was his son, he woudln’t have shot him.  But the fact that he was an undercover cop was still apparenlty a good reason.  He insisted on telling the EMTs, the staff at General Hosptial, God who I would think has better things to do than listen to a “devotedly Catholic” except for that whole murder thing person like Sonny, basically anyone who would listen that Dante was his son and by god he was going to make sure his son was going to make it through surgery.  To ensure this he called in his own surgical on-call team of Robin and Patrick (sersiouly Patrick. I liked you so much better when you hated Sonny and wanted nothing to do with him!  I want that Patrick back!) and then threatening the most awesome of awesome….Dr. Steven Lars Webber!!!! 

You don’t step to Steven! 

And then came the most……I don’t think increidble is quite the word I’m looking for so I’ll settle for “cosmic guffaw”  moment, that while he was being arrested, in front of MyKill and St. Jaysus, both of whom have caused Sonny to pontificate ad nauseum about how family is who you choose……Sonny busts out that he will not leave the hospital to be arrested…and when the PCPD dares to continue…hillariously yells out that someone tell his son that he loves him. 

He loves his son…that he just shot…because he was an undercover cop.  My heart grows.

You know lets ask Steven what he thinks of all this.

Word Steven! Word!

Photos courtsey of LisaW’s Soap Heaven

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