Sarcastic Clapping

{February 10, 2010}   The curious case of Nikolas Cassadine

You know I actually do like the Cassadines.  Loved Stefan.  I worship Helena as the goddess she is and I love how she won’t hesitate to cut a bitch.  A good Helena put down is worth it’s weight in gold. Remember when she told Courtney she wouldn’t trust her with the care and feeding of a hamster much less the Cassadine hier? Good times.  Alexis is all things awesome and fabulous.  Mikkos tried to freeze the entire freaking world which is pretty much the definition of bad ass in my book.  And Spencer Cassadine is adorable and can rock that sweater vest like no one can. 

And then there is Nikolas.  The sanctimonous pissy whiney baby of the bunch.

Oh. My. Freaking. God. You all was he seriously being all whiney about people judging him for his nasty disgusting crime against nature with Elizabeth?  Hello! People who don’t want to be judged maybe should’t exclusively chase engaged/married women!  Call us crazy but people tend to judge a man-whore like that!  And not to mention but who the hell is judging him?  Lucky yelled at him, which he deserved.  Lulu mildly chided him and blamed it all on Liz. Luke never really liked him in the first place and neither did Ethan.  That’s it.  People have not been staring at him at GH.  People have not been debating if he’s  a good father and should Lucky make a move to get custody of Spencer. (Answer…yes. yes he should. then the child would be seen!)  WHO IS JUDGING HIM?????  I’ve seen harsher judgments during the audition rounds on American Idol!

And if apparently there are just random bands of townsfolks just hopping the launch out to Wyndemere to yell the equivilant of slut at him….Number one where do I sign up to join and number two WHY THE HELL HAVEN’T WE SEEN SUCH GLORIOUSNESS?  I think we would all love to see that right?

And for all the talk today and for the past six months about how Cassadine he’s being, I’m sorry. I register an objection for the real Cassadines.  Nik is acting like a Cassdine. Ok Mikkos apparenlty couldnt’ keep it in his pants either but come on!  He’s mooning over Elizabeth (who hates him) and does….nothing?  Stefan made plans and constatnly tried to one up Luke.  Nik is….just waiting for Lucky to stop being mad?  Waiting for Liz to go on vacation? I don’t get it.  In order to get back at Luke for killing her husband and to get the Ice Princess, Helena faked Lucky’s death and brainwashed him to kill Luke.  Nik finds out about a con Rebecca failed to do…failed…and his grand revenge scheme is date her and then dump her.  That was it!  His grandfather tries to freeze the world. His grandmother kidnapped not only his brother but his mother too.  His uncle managed to hide the fact Leslie was alive for years just too keep Laura near him and all this punk ass can come up with is date and dump her?  And everyone thinks he’s going Cassadine?    Stavros is going to become an unfrozen again just to kick his ass for such lameness.

Plus there is the fact he always looks bored.  Pop quiz…the following expression…..

is appropriate to wear when…..

A- deciding what to eat for lunch

B – choosing what clothes to wear

C- picking out which servant gets to raise Spencer this week or

D- telling one of the people who hate you the most about the current love of your month’s traumatic rape at 15 to explain why she hates Valentine’s Day while she is not there and hasn’t given you one lick of permsission to do it.

Clearly the answer is D. I mean…its soooo obvious!

What in the name of all that is holy and pure was that?  Was I supposed to be impressed that he explained Elizabeth’s bizarre breakdown to Ethan? Thankful he took time out of his busy day of doing nothing to explain it?  Did I miss the episode where Elizabeth told Nik it was completely fine with her for him to tell whoever the hell he wanted about her traumatic experience?  You know the one that she went through?  And took her forever to talk about with anyone that wasn’t Lucky?  That one?  Is this what happens when you free some sexually? You get a free pass to just blab your alleged loved one’s private life all over town?  If Elizabeth had wanted Ethan to know that…she would have told him when she was with him. 

And if you are going to do something so completely over the line…could you at least have the decency look, oh I don’t know…..torn, upset…anything about it?  Any emotion. Just pick one.

How did a character that has the awesome backstory of the Cassadines…Laura freakign Spencer’s son…..turn out to be such a lame, whiney douchebag crybaby with a serious boundary issue?

Photos courtsey of Lisa W’s Soap Heaven

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