4th grade drop outs…

Is anyone else wondering if in fact the writers of GH are really 4th grade drop outs and had their moms fake a resume to get them off the couch and out of the house?  Cause really it would explain oh so much. 

For example it would explain why they have an…….interesting….yeah that’s what we’ll call it…interesting view of genetics.  The first clue should have been during the entire Jake’s paternity debacle when everyone and their mother would comment about how Jake had blue eyes and of course that meant Jason was his father.  Except you know…Liz has blue eyes. And the only Spencer relative that I can think of that has dark eyes is Nik….and you all know how often I want to think of him.  So clearly there are other possibilities for where Jake got blue eyes from. (related…could GH higher a child actor with blue eyes if they were going to keep this up?  Just saying it would help.) 

And today I learned all sorts of things for how genetics work. Like for example, if you share Sonny’s DNA you automatically love him and want to protect him.  Really Sonny? The way you’ve been hounding him to protect Michael and you thought his testimony was to protect you?  I’m not surprised Sonny made it all about him…that’s encoded on his DNA, RNA and tattooed on his forehead.  But that wasnt’ even the most facinating thing we learned today. 

You all….violence is herditary!   And suspecting someone could have beaten a teenage girl is totally cool if your shared father once raped your mother!  Especially if your father knew that this random stranger was your half-brother because they are so much alike!  It makes total and complete sense!  I already had a headache by the time Lulu dropped that knowledge.  What?  I’m not opposed to Ethan finding out about the rape of Laura. All of Luke’s kids have to do it and hell I suggested this exact idea when Ethan first showed up and was all Wondery McWonder as to why Luke and Lucky weren’t close anymore!   And I understand the longstanding statement that Tony Geary hates to go back to that storyline again and again, thus allowing Lulu to accept in the space of 9 hours or so what it took her brother months to accept. And I’m sure by Friday Ethan will be perfectly fine with Luke.  But holy hell they had perfectly organic chances to drop this knowledge on Ethan months ago….and they choose this ham-fisted ridiculous genetic lesson as the way to do it!

The writers dropping out of 4th grade would also explain why they can’t be bothered to check Law & Order for some basic courtroom facts.  It’s completely on past their bed time! It all makes sense now!  A high profile murder case and the jury isn’t sequestered?  The media is trying to sway the non-sequestered jury so it’s up to Sonny’s friends to find the individiual jurors and explain Sonny’s good side to him?  Non-sequestered jurors can go to work and serve witnesses in the case they are deciding?  I….just…..huh? 

It would also explain how Carly can make gigantic leaps of thinking and this one time actually be right! Kids make huge leaps all the time!  While I’m glad someone finally remembered Kristina has a boyfriend and he’s not exaclty been sugar and spice to her all the time…and no I’m not surprised Carly figured this out…..really?  She just remembered it and immediately went “Keifer! It was Keifer!” 

Maybe it might enhance my enjoyment of this show oh so much more if I just remind myself its written by a bunch of adults who are arrested emotionally at age 11?  I work with 11 year olds! I can understand them!  I find their creativity enjoyable!  ohh that might lead to optimism…..what a scary concept to consider!