I think I hurt something trying to figure this out

I have enough issues going on in my life right now that I don’t need to watch GH with the following expression on my face for the entire hour.

For the one thing it causes frown lines.  For another it’s not very attractive if not even Steven Lars Webber can pull it off!  And for a final point, one of the hallmarks of daytime is you can figure out what is going on.  And I don’t mean in the repetivie, only morons could miss the point way…I mean in the “Hey I forgot to tape yesterday but the show is still governed by the rules of logic and reason” sort of way.

Because today’s episode?  I think Lost is less confusing!

Ok now first off yes I was eye rolling of the notion that Lucky Spencer, father of TWO children got a one bedroom apartment and put a giant pool table in it just like the one Jason has.  Sure GH….I so beleive that.  But someone please tell me the point of that entirely stupid scene?  Nik couldn’t ask… a lawyer? Alexis?  Anyone else this?  I give Lucky credit for not slugging his assuming ass but really they haven’t spoken and Nik thinks this is the appropraite way to start talking?  Trying to get information he could have gotten from just about anyone else in town?  I just….what the hell was the point? 

Ok now generally I feel the less said about Jason’s “brilliant” and “noble” sacrifice the better. It’s so unbelivable stupid and insane it doesn’t deserve attention.  Because as if, in respect to the idea that if the freaking federal government of the United States of America would go “oh wait…you’ll volunteer to go to jail for a mobster we have evidence to put away?  And while your in jail said mobster will be free to continue to run his criminal empire? Why win win for us all!”  And the idea that I should find this a deep and loving and unselfish sacrifice of Jason, a person who has killed on Sonny’s behalf for years and who helps run this criminal empire, is insulting and makes me want to vomit.   But then Sam started in….and her argument that Jason shouldn’t go to jail because Jake needed him to raise him since Elizabeth is unstable……and I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle her.  Memo to GH…the time to make Jason/Jake happened sailed like three years ago.  As Jason rightly observed yesterday Jake doesn’t have a clue who he is.  And every ounce of social worker in me screams at the notion that tearing a three year away from the only family he’s ever known just because Jason is allegedly his biological father and that should trump all. 

I do admit I laughed at Jason’s expression when Sam brough Jake up.

I think that was supposed to be regret but all I saw was trying to remember who this Jake person was.

Hey look everyone!  It’s a Magical Cancer Patient! Sent to make us all appreciate our lives and improve them in every single way!

Why I bet she has a love of life and stories that will relate in meanigful ways to several characters and give them a new lease on life and love!  Look at the pure goodness and wisdom radiating from her skin!  Why I bet she can even help cure a still un-named mental disorder!

I really want to like this story I do…..but I just have this feeling…..she’s going to be way too Pollyanna for me. Although I do give GH props for being honest in how Magical Cancer Patient will leave us.

Can’t say they aren’t letting us know up front can we?

I have gone on record that I hate how stupid this paternity switch storyline is making everyone…everyone including Helena. But you know what I hate more?  When it forces great talents like Jane Elliot and Constance Towers to play material that is so beneth them.

First off you actually thought Tracy overheard what Helena was talking about I do feel compelled to ask….have you seen a soap opera before? The only way to overhear something is through a door in clear view of everyone who somehow cant’ see you!  Now Tracy and Helena sparring ranks up there with Helena and Alexis sparring truly (and we got both in one episode!) but still playing this ridiculously stupid storyline is beneth all of them.

You know I get that Alexis has had one hell of an early Spring. I do. And I can understand her wanting to see her daughter happy for just a fraction of a second after all that Kristina has been through. I even understand Kristina not wanting to be in the hospital and being ashamed of herself. Totally get all of that. But for reals when did Alexis have a brain transplant?  She credited Nikolas with being good with kids for Kristina smiling?????  Nikolas?  And not say Spencer and his sweater vest?

His fobbing his parenting duties off on Kristina today instead of Alfred is supposed to make me swoon?  Oh what the feck ever GH.  He did nothing.  And while I recognize your way obvious attempts to whitewash the fact Nik is a complete and total tool come on. You spent roughly the last six months having random characters walk around and take pot shots about his parenting skills. Helena even pointed out to Alexis today that he sucks.  And I was supposed to give him credit?  Any credit for Kristina smiling goes to Spencer and his always present sweater vest.  (Also…toatlly impressed both Kristina and Spencer acted like they knew who the other one was! That must be that Cassadine breeding we keep hearing about.)

Oh and when Alexis pointed out to Nik that Helena was clearly up to something and Nik declared he had it under control?  Was I supposed to be impressed?

The man couldn’t tell he was being scammed by Rebecca despite being told point blank by at least three different people that was what she was doing until Lucky let him know Ethan copped to it.  Helena was able to fake her death!  He thinks every day is opposite day! He totally thought that once Lucky had a minute to think about it, he would jump for joy at the prospect of Nik and Liz hooking up.  He thought Liz staying in a hospital that Helena controls (which he knows about) and taking a paterntiy test in a hospital under her real name  with Helena in town was all a good idea AND apparenlty couldnt’ figure out a way to hide a second paternity test from Helena!   I don’t have confidence he could find his way out of Wyndemere if he didn’t have Alfred to tell him where to go! 

This is the person who has Helena under control?

You know on second thought…maybe Alexis didn’t have brain damage after all. Maybe just questionable taste?

Photos by Lisa W’s Soap Heaven