Sarcastic Clapping











{June 3, 2010}   The land were basic reasoning goes to die

It’s clear my friends.  Completely and totally clear.  The writers/producers of General Hospital think we are vegitables completely unable to process basic reasoning.   It is the only explanation for the insanity that came out of the show and the mouth of Bob Guza today.

Let’s start with the show.  Now we’re not even going to touch the Jason “Karate Sensi” Morgan continuing adventures in jail.  Where’s he’s never been before but yet he knows all the tricks on how to survive. Which apparenlty doesn’t include keep your survival lessons to private places so the entire population of prisoners and corrupt guards (it’s GH. I’m not stupid) can see that the 18 year old is in fact as weak as he looks!  Or the fact that conjugal visits are just for married people is apparently not completely well known. 

No, as you probably could guess the stupidity that is the Nik/Liz clearly oncoming “bonding”.  Alright, has Liz been a bit of a bitch to Nik? Yes.  She has. But I maintain that if the show hadn’t committed hardcore to destorying the character for four straight years, most people would be cheering her bitching the Prince of Douchitude.  Yesterday she apologized and offered to meet him half way but re-stated she was not moving into Wyndemere.  Now she has stated her reasons for this decision has nothing to do with Lucky. It has to do with she doesn’t love Nik and Helena lives there still. Now Nik has also heard this exact same message from Lucky without prompting or persusassion of Liz.  In fact Liz doesn’t even know Lucky told Nik the exact same thing.

So what do we learn today? Nik thinks that Liz should move in because he has more money than her.  Oh and Lucky is resentful of his money.  First off I think it’s more accurate that Lucky is resentful of the attitude Nik uses with his money and that 99% of the time, when Lucky requires money…said situation is Nik’s fault. (Loosing insurance for being on probation because of protecting Nik’s fiance in stupid plan to get Nik out of jail ring bells for anyone else?)  So to shorthand this…Nik lives in Douchetropolis, Victimville and thinks his money automatically makes him a great father material.  Alfred and Spencer beg to differ.

After Liz told him to shove it…..we get Cam requesting a daycamp that is deemed too expensive. Now as someone who works with children I know that some daycamps are beyond redonkulous. ($350 for five days???  What the French toast?) However since prior to this exact second, there has never been any indication that Liz is feeling a money crunch…ummm out of nowhere much?  And clearly she’s going to invest the boys’ trust funds in that experimental drug Steven just happened to be talking about at the end of the show.  No one ever said Guza was subtle did they?  And I’ll go on a wild limb here and say she’ll loose all the money and be suddenly destitute and have no choice…NO CHOICE I tell you…but rely on Nik to get her out of this financial mess because he is just so good with his money. (Seeing a con at fifty feet however…..different story)

You know why I don’t buy this? Because I can reason my way out of a paper bag.  I know Liz’s house is paid for.  It was part of that stupid guilt gift Jason gave to make up for the fact he couldn’t be bothered to change a thing about his life.  So she doesn’t have a house payment.  We know from last year that Lucky pays for the boys’ daycare. So she doesn’t pay for that.  When the boys are not in daycare, they are with relatives that don’t charge for baby-sitting. No money there.  And contrary to Guza’s opinion, nurses and detectives make good money.  Also if Liz can invest all this money into an experimental drug, she can’t take a few hundred out for a camp?  Like Jason wouldn’t replace that guilt money when he inevitably finds out.  (And he will because he’s Jason)  And if Steven has enough money for his friend to call him to invest, like he wouldn’t go ahead and pay for his nephew (that’s named after him) to go to camp for the summer? 

There are like 95 different intelligence insulting points wrong with this entire set up that everyone can see through. But that’s only about one-tenth the amount of insulting the latest Bob Guza interview with TV Guide on Michael’s rape is.  Or the subsequent reaction of the soap press that apparently we are complete morons who can’t figure things out on our own.  (Caution…mild spoiler about Carter in the interview)

Who on Earth do they honestly think is confused by this?  The same idiots who honestly think Jason is going to die every month?  If you have watched a soap…even the crappest ones in the history of soapdom (i.e. Swans Crossing……Glory/JT 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!) you know what flinching and reluctance to get close mean. It’s like fainting only ever meaning pregnancy and brain tumor.  He’s flinching and avoiding contact even with St. Jaysus Our Savior. CLEARLY he was raped.  The only way it could be more obvious is if they made him wear a neon sign!

And then there is the “classy” comment Guza made about Michael being a good looking kid with the John Gotti of Port Charles as a dad.  First off, Sonny wishes he was John Gotti.  Secondly…..attractiveness is a contributing factor to rape?  Only pretty people are raped?  No ugly people have ever been the victims of rape?  Why hasn’t a women’s lib group dragged this creatin through the streets and tarred and feathered him yet?  For the last time Guza….rape is a crime of POWER. It has nothing to do with sex and sexual attractiveness.  Especially in the case of prison sexual assault.   Yes Michael would be targeted because of who his father is, but that’s why there this thing called protective custody. Jason’s talked about it so apparently you are aware of what it is. 

Also…love the attitude of “no we didn’t do this” /”oh my god how could we not do this”.  And like we can’t tell “ramifications three-five months” down the line means they are waiting for November sweeps to do a full reveal? Probably after Michael finds a girlfriend.  And she might want to get “closer” as it were?  

Now all this I expect from Bob Guza. After all the same man did helpfully explain to us that because Michael accidentally shot Kate in the stomach (that Sonny, Jason and Carly covered up and he was never made to apologize for ever) it was totes approrpiate for Michael to be shot in the head because we don’t want to be irresponsible about violence and youngsters on GH.  No way. No how.  But the soap press…playing along with this like we don’t know what’s going on. Many blogs have already posted about this and have come to the conclusion Michael was in fact raped. And not just blogs by pissy fans like me.  People like Sarah Bibel at Deep Soap.  SOW has it on their cover for next week.  We already know what happened. So for people like Michael Logan and Michael Fairman to act like this is  such a farrking mystery is beyond insulting.

And the same people wonder constantly why the soap audience is erroding. Here’s a clue geniuses.  We might not like it when you treat us like we believe the little people in the box are real.  We are capable of higher thoughts and we can do things like read between the lines.  We remember things like minute plot points from 25 years ago and we can find clips on You Tube to prove it in intricate, head pounding message board arguments.  We like to be treated with respect and like we do have a brain.  I know this might be an unfathomable girl concept for you but you treat us badly enough we do walk away. As Johnny so correctly observed today there is to abuse than hitting and you Bob Guza and your faithful minions have been emotionally abusing your audience for years.

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Oh lawdy, YES! St. Jaysus, who’s never lived a day behind bars can walk in and dominate the environment. ARGH ARGH ARGH! I guess he’s ‘heard’ things from those who have been. Can we please leave Michael and SJ behind bars for the rest of their unnatural little soap lives!??! I hate the potential rape storyline because it does, as you point out, feel like the writers are using it as they’ve used past storylines (as if any harm done to Michael is part of his comeuppance). They would also use the storyline to ‘punish’ Dante, too. He would be responsible, of course, for setting his brother up to be raped. It would never be Sonny, Jason, Carly, or his rapist’s fault. It would be all Dante.

And speaking of reasoning going to die, can someone tell me HOW it is that the Cerullo’s never suspected Dante was Sonny’s? So now Brook Lynn grew up with Dante, and no one ever knew a freakin’ thing!?!?? Sonny says he now realizes how much Dante looks like him when he was younger and behaves like him!??!? No one from ‘the neighborhood’ got it? Even though Liv wouldn’t reveal the name of her child’s father and she’s only ever been with Sonny?



adampascalfan says:

Oh I know!! What the french toast indeed on that no one could figure it out crap! Also…Dante as born when Sonny and Olivia were teenagers. We all saw Brooklyn born when Lois was an adult (Sonny too)…yet they grew up together in the neighborhood? Do they not realize what that says about Sonny’s dating habits????

Well to be techinical…Michael’s rape will be Dante AND Lulu’s fault. You know since everything including global warming is their fault.



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