Sarcastic Clapping

I have many many thoughts reagarding the recent events in Port Charles.  And I will weigh in on them when I have more of a time to give them the time and attention they deserve. (i.e., longer than the five seconds Guza and company took in planning them.  They deserve at least six seconds at least!)

But before going back to work tonight (yeah social work!  Never a regular schedule)….I had to comment on this one….I’ll go with interesting…online development.

Brian Frons apparently has joined Twitter.

Now I have no idea if this is a verified account or not.  However given the sheer amount of cluelessness Brian Frons has demonstrated in the past (i.e. Calling actresses on his show “fat and not attractive”, having to be explained the entire concept of rape did indeed include the idea of having sex while one of the parties was drugged or otherwise incapacitated, greenlighting the repeated showing of Luis Alcazar’s body being thrown from the top of a building just months after 9/11) I am willing to suspend disbeilef and go with the idea Public Online Enemy Number One decided to join Twitter and make himself available to fans.  Or you know how he sees them “those unfortunate souls who resist my training techinques”.

If this account ends up being verified, it has all the earmarks of a deliciously soapy car crash.  And if it’s a brilliant pissed off soap fan?  Well before it’s found out…you and I both know every single frustrated pissed off soap fan will take this opportunity to pop off at “Brian Frons” at 140 characters a shot.  And lets not kid ourselves…..the soap community will be watching it.  And if it’s not Brian? Well he’s about to get an education about how people really feel about him isn’t he?


{August 17, 2009}   Dear Frons….SHUT UP!

Dear Brian Frons-

If that is your real name and not Satan.

Long ago I came to realize that expecting a classy, respectful interview out of you was like expecting Sonny or Jason to get out of the mob. It was never going to happen.  You are what you are and I tried to convince myself that for a man who deals with the media all day for a living, you were just incredibly bad with journalists.  I would have monologues with myself about how you learned the soap business in a different time, when every word you said wasn’t subjected to a litany of a million internet bloggers/message board posters and snarkers.  I tried to tell myself that sometimes, some of your statements had to reflect the way things were presented to you by the showrunners.  I can very easily see some of your more infamous remarks coming out of the mouth of the likes of Bob Guza.

But then you open your mouth.

The fact that Guiding Light is nearing the end of its historic run is certainly causing a limited amount of mainstream attention.  And seeing a well-respected publication like The Wall Street Journal talking about it is a sad thing but it could in the long run bring some good conversation about the state of soaps and how the genre can move forward. Which in theory would be a good thing for you…you know with your job and all kinda depending on it. 

But you talking about how GL brought it on themselves by not winning the all important demographic wars? Did you learn nothing from Ken Corday’s foot in mouth in SOD?  Really? Frons I’m not sure what demos you are looking at but YOUR shows aren’t winning the demos.   In fact there are weeks when all 3 set new records in low demographics!  The decison by all soap higher ups to chase those demos are what is killing the genre period.  Related….what demo is it that you are looking at?  You talk about chasing women 18-49….but your shows are routinely some of the most misogenstic ones on air.  And with the exception of OLTL occassionally, GH and AMC showcase women mainly as armcandy and chattel for the men. 

Didn’t your momma teach you not to kick people when they are down?  As a former GL watcher, I admit the show had its share of problems over the years. I was watching during the Amish Reva and Clone Reva years.  I admit the gone off the wall craziness of that era.  However this is not the time to talk about how they didn’t win the demos so oh well too sad so bad, next thing please.  The ending of an ear like this is a GOLDEN opportunity to discuss ways to save this genre. Ways to embrace change.  Ways to re-connect with the audience that if the internet is any indication still exists for quality soaps.  Moaning and groaning about the changing face of the audience while relying on marketing research that appeared to be last relevant in the 70s isn’t doing anything but continuing the perception that daytime is a dying industry that no one is interested in saving. 

I refues to believe that is true.  The sheer number of blogs out there devoted to soaps tell me this can’t be true.

And one last thing Brian….when you are talking about how change can be a good thing, please keep the names Luke and Laura out of your mouth.  You had nothing to do with their creation in the early 80s. You had nothing to do with their return in the 90s with their family.  You had something to do with the railroading of Genie Francis out the door and the decision to write Lucky Spencer as the town whipping boy.  You had something to do with the show’s decsion to create the role of Ethan Lovett and allowing Tony Geary to go all over creation proclaiming how Ethan being Luke’s long lost son and the revelation of Luke cheating on Laura as the viewers being challenged and a good thing.    The changes you are most associated with are changes that most viewers cringe at. 

So in sumation….not your lesson to teach there Fons….and shut your damn pie hole.

{July 7, 2009}   Tomorrow Still Comes….

“We have to watch All My Children today. Crazy Janet has Natalie in the well and I have to see if Trevor gets her out.”

With a statement like that is it any wonder I had to watch?  I was all of 12 years old, spending the day with my friend Christy, waiting for my mom to pick me up after work. We had been up half the night before celebrating her 12th birthday with the sleepover to end all sleepovers and we had probably only been up for no more than two hours.  I had barely watched any daytime before that day.  Even though my mom had been a stay-at-home mom until the year before I didn’t remember her watching TV at all in the afternoon. 

But Christy’s mom loved All My Children.  Had watched it for years.  And this past year, Christy had gotten hooked for her own reasons. So that afternoon, sitting in the loft area of their home, while her mom watched downstairs, Christy and I watched.  She explained to me who everyone was and when she got stuck, she’d yell down a question to her mom.  She’d answer and we’d move on with the storyline.  It took one episode and I was hooked. 

So I guess it’s Christy and her mom’s fault I can’t kick this addiction.

Oh I no longer watch All My Children anymore.  That got easier after Sarah Michelle Gellar left to slay the undead.  (insert your own joke about Jason Morgan and Dead Diego here.)  No the addiction I can’t shake is soaps.  No matter how hard I try. No matter how much less rage inducing my life would become if I would just unplug and stop watching, stop reading and leave the world of daytime behind.

I think about it when I sit there, slack-jawed at the stupidity and lack of logic.  A day where I don’t wonder how is I can remember a show’s history while a writing team with access to the show bible can’t be bothered to check on it.  A day where I don’t want to see the writers’ copy of the dictonary because their idea of “romantic” and “exciting” is clearly different than mine. A day without tumor-related visions being sold as the “most romantic story ever told in daytime”.  A day without praying for permanent unemployment for people I hopefully will never meet.

And I say hopefully because I seriously doubt I would be able to refrain from bodily harm if I ever do meet one Bob Guza, Jill Farren Phelps or Brian Frons. God forbid I see all three of them. 

I don’t know why I can’t kick General Hospital. Lingering affection for the level of greatness the show gained in the late 90s?  Perhaps. My unwavering devotion and weakness for the pairing of Lucky and Elizabeth, my first absolutely no hold bar full out shippage?  Doesn’t help matter for sure.   The occassional episodes that are mob free and therefore enjoyable? 

It’s not like I haven’t tried.  But much like the mob movies the show loves to rip off tell us, once I think I’m out, they pull me back in.  They tease my favorite pairing. They do a full scale old time full cast event.  They bring back Genie Freaking Francis.  They allow Greg Vaughan to be shirtless. 

But i will not deny that like many a GH fan… the show sometimes causes me to stroke out in rage.  And fold over in hysterical laughter at stupidity.  Roll my eyes at the complete lapse of logic. 

And that’s just from reading the spoilers/rumors.  Actually watching the show occassionally makes it worse. 

So in an effort to maintain my sanity…and to not overly annoy my friends who allow me to go on and on about this…I’ve come here.  Hopefully to make new friends…share new thoughts…expand my friend base….and a slight desire to get my opinion out there among a seeming sea of Jason Morgan is the Greatest squealers.

et cetera