Sarcastic Clapping

{May 27, 2010}   Crystal blue confusion….

I admit that I am a blonde who’s hair has gone darker as I have gotten older.  So I am no stranger to sterotypical stupid moments where I forget something basic or say something horrifically dumb. Add into this mix the fact I am basically shy and highly prone to embarrassment and you’ll understand why I have taken to the internet to express myself.  (It admittedly doesn’t explain why I have always worked retail jobs that kinda depend on being outgoing and friendly but that’s why there’s therapy people!)  The point of my sharing is to admit that I have come to expect a fair bit of confusion to occur in my daily life and Lord knows since I watch GH, my soap as well.   And usually, there’s one..just one storyline where while it might make me want to spit nails in hatred, at least it makes sense. 

And then there are weeks like the past few on GH.  Where nothing makes sense!

Lets start with the big kettle of fish…The Terribly True Adventures of Guilty but Should Get a Free Pass Michael in Pentonville.  You all did you know prison was a bad place???  It’s completely new to me!  Why people who go there are bad…and like committed crimes….well not like Michael heroically commiting crimes but like the crimes that the enemies of Sonny always commit to take down Sonny.  Thank you Bob Guza for committing such a valuable public service to tell us that prisons are filled with criminals, corrupt guards and rapists.  Cause I’d never know.

And speaking of rapist…..Michael was raped show. We get it.  We the audience figured it out.  We’ve seen a soap before so we know that scrambling away from someone when they touch you is the sign of rape, much like fainting always only means pregnancy.  And I will admit that a well written, thoughtful portrayal of a man struggling with a sexually based attack, trying to come to terms with what not only his victimization but what it says about his sexuality would be groundbreaking.  However considering when Jax was chained spread eagle to a bed while he was kidnapped and forced to sleep with Irina because she threatened to kill Carly, I’m throughly confused as to why we are going down this well with Jason clearly going to end up being Michael’s trusted confidant (because again I have watched this show before) when the same situation happened to Jax….Jason laughed at it.   Giggled the entire time at the very idea that. So when he inevitably becomes sad panda over what has befallen Michael….I’m going to spend roughly 99% of the time wondering if he’s going to go to Jax and apologize for being such a dickwad.  And I know that’s not going to happen so that makes me  more confused as to why I’m supposed to find this dunderhead a hero in the first place!

Plus if the intent of the show is merely to inspire blog posts and internet discussions about whether or not GH would go that route and this is all an elaborate “gotcha” well I have to give an F on it.   It sends a dangerous message much like their notion that abuse is only physical.  This does happen in our society and I think it could be a potentially fantastic storyline to explore.  But to use it as a titliating buzz piece is just wrong.  Go there or don’t but don’t use it as a tease. 

Also speaking of Michael, if someone can explain to me why if Sonny goes to jail, everyone thinks Michael will go free I would be excellent.   I understand the concept of no politician wanting to help the son of a known gangster get out of trouble lest they seem soft on crime.  That makes total sense.  And I have no issues with people wanting to put Sonny in jail. Gold star for admittedly futile efforts there.  But why would Sonny going to jail clear the way for Michael to get out?  I mean know he’s going to get out but what politician would work overtime to free an 18 year old who admitted in open court that he killed a woman, participated in a cover up, fled the country to avoid prosecution and knew all of it was wrong?  Politicians won’t get involved in cases of women serving insane prison terms because their boyfriends made them unwilling drug mules but because Michael, who admitted to killing  a woman and was given the minimum sentence as a freaking gift since everything that backed up his claim of “self defense” (which is still a crock of crap.  Justifiable homicide sure but it wasn’t self defense)  was destroyed they will?  I can live in the Never Never Land they do cause clearly it’s some kind of wonderland.

Now between Claire’s self admitted baby rabies and Sonny’s status as Sperminator of Port Charles, I am deeply terrified that we are well on our way to the arrival of Sonny’s ninth child.    So in theory I have no issue with Lucky giving Claire the rundown on all the brunettes who have failed to take down Sonny but ended up in his bed.  And while I recognize a “wink wink nudge nudge” metajoke when I see one but when Lucky name dropped Hannah only one thought ran through my mind.  “Yeah I know she’s on the list and all but holy hell Detective weren’t you presumed dead, kidnapped and brainwashed through most of her time in Port Charles?  What you weren’t allowed to remember your family at all but worrying about Sonny’s love life was A-Ok as far as Helena was concerned? What the hell type of evil plot is that?” (Also pointing out the repeated nature of these storylines does not mean I’m not going to totally make fun of it if/when this storyline kicks in there show.  Nice try!) 

But then again….when you consider the “brillance” of Helena’s latest plot is it any wonder one of her most famous capers now doesnt’ seem to make much sense in light of that rundown?  For as many times as the show has promised us Helena will reveal her evil plan…I’m still waiting.  Also..Helena disappeares and it never occurs to Nik to check Greece?  Much like Luke’s dreaded Dr. Von Skimmerman “disguise”….Greece has only been her immediate choice of hiding place since well FOREVER.  And how did Luke know A – Helena wasn’t in town and B – was in Greece?  He didn’t check Wyndemere? Pay Nik a visit? Attempt to bribe Alfred? (You know Alfred is totally on Helena’s payroll.  You just know.)  Also still wondering why Nik is being so threatened by information he’s known since roughly 1998 and manipulation he’s seen no evidence of at all.  It would make way more sense if he was being bitchy to Lucky if I don’t know he overheard Lucky and Liz having a mature, supportive discussion or seen Liz asking Lucky to help her with Helena but he hasn’t.   And while I know Helena’s entire plan hinges on all three of them being at odds so she can work….I’m still stuck on what exactly her plan will accomplish and then we’ve entered the vicious cycle of hell and I want to get off this sick cycle carosel!

Alas it’s not just Luke and Lucky stuck in crazy cakes land. Now while Lulu is admittedly a moron of the highest order for trusting Carly one wit after Carly basically blamed her for global warming and all but well she is Lulu.  And it’s not even her I’m all that confused by. No it’s Brooklynn.  I don’t want to hate a Q but I fear I will with this.  She’s in credit trouble and yet I’m supposed to believe neither Ned or Lois is aware of this? HA!  Or that Edward doesnt’ pay like double that amount to keep himself in jaunty hats? Or that the Qs wouldnt’ rally to help her and bring her back under their roof to save her if they got any whiff of issues with Brooklyn? Or that Brooklyn could be in town for like two weeks and the Qs would not have descended on her and Edward force her to move back in as his great-granddaughter?  But all that’s kid’s play compared to the real confusion.

What in the name of Greg Vaughan did she do to her face?  It’s non-moving. It’s scary. It’s distracting.

And Patrick..oh Patrick…when did you regress to your daughter’s age?  What the hell was that today?  He’s the only one who can do any surgery?  I’m not complaining about the subsequent Robin defending Steven as awesome…but my god he was a whiney cry baby today over nothing.  And I’m sorry to the many Scrubs fans out of there…I am still not seeing how this is the start of Lisa being Fatal Attraction.   This is Patrick being a whiney bitch.

Normally I would write off this confusion as the results of a week that was too much work and not enough sleep but I really don’t think it is!

Why is it the simplist ideas are often the hardest for people to grasp? And while I certainly am a big fan of lazy ways when it comes to things like getting exercise into my daily routine (hey parking the car at the far end of the block is exercise dang it!) and eating healthy (individual peach pie is good for a fruit serving right?)  when it comes to my soaps I want something more than the laziest possible scenario. 

As par for the course…lazy writing has been in abundance on GH these past few days. Well lazier than usual that is.

First there is the High King of the Lazy Plot….Jason’s “noble”  plan to go to jail on nothing charges to protect Michael.  First off lets start with the fact that this whole thing could have been handled by having Jason testify at Sonny’s trial (Since you know everyone testified that he and Sam were in the cabin anyways), perjury himself like Carly did twice and then take a deal to serve time for perjury in a deal he makes that sends him to prison to protect Micahel and Carly.  It would be therefore in character, plausible (well as plausible as anything is that every enemy of Sonny’s is in Pentonville but not one of the flunkies who’s taken the fall for these lunkheads wouldn’t be) and he would still be in jail for like the five days this will last. 

Plus it would also explain why the very real concept of a “prison transfer” has not been brought up by anyone!  Or the fact given the circumstances, Michael would likely get one pretty easily.  Andn it would also stop the ridiculous notion that since My Baby Daddy Judge Carroll dared to sentence Michael for a crime he did commit (and admitted to…in open court under oath) that was a pretty freaking big gift since you know all the evidence that backed up Michael’s story was destroyed by the Trio of Terror, then the only logical course of action is to blackmail him into letting Michael go.

I hadnt’ gone deaf from running pokers in my ears during Jason and Lucky’s “goodbye” scene to miss that Lucky was cheerfully advocating blackmailing a judge to Dante.  You all if that is Lucky’s alleged “Spencer edge”? Then it can go away.  If Lucky and Dante are sooo disillusioned with the way the court handled Michael’s case (And really Lucky’s lived in this town for how long and he thought it was going to go that way?  MORON!) then here’s the simple solution. They quit the force and start a  PI firm.  Wow! What an out there concept! But no…now we have to deal with two upstanding cops who were militantly anti-mob becoming dirty to protect a child of the mob who would and has spit on them more than once just because they are cops!

But that isn’t nearly as stupid as the tidal wave of idiotacy that is coming from Wyndemere these days.  Can someone please explain to me why Nik would allow Helena to move in, have access to the child she kidnapped before and within fifty feet of the child he beleives is his and use small words so I can understand it.  And while you are at it…if you can figure out why Helena is being able to manipulate himwith information he’s known since approximately 1998 that would be great as well.  He keeps going around town telling everyone he’s got an eye on Helena and he’s handling her.  Yeah tell that to the dead lab tech.  And Tracy.  But because the entire plot of Helena switching the paternity test requires her to stay in town and talk loudly about how she’s going to use this baby to destory the Spencers, then she must illogically stay at Wyndemere and not…say her own freaking suite with Thor at the MetroCourt.

I think I  need to sue my gym.  See when I joined, they had all the TVs tuned to either ESPN or CBS. Which means I had one place where I could guarantee I would not be assulted with the rage I normally feel when I watch GH.  Having these rage attacks in the safety and privacy of my own home is one thing, but the general public tends to look at you funny when you start spouting obsentities at fictional characters and throwing things at the screen in anger.    Suggestions about checking yourself into a mental hospital (with a legitimate reason even!!!) tend to follow.

So imagine the torture my poor fellow gym members went through when I had the misfortune of catching today’s GH live.  LIVE!!! I didn’t even have the luxury of the fast forward button!  Or the mute!  I was trapped! Trapped!  And today of all days……

First there was the uncomfortable part where I had to explain to everyone near me that the reason everyone’s neck vein was about to explode was because a cop just reported a confession of murder.  And how even though the self-confessed justified killer, who was totally going to turn himself in to save his mobster father’s murdering ass….that was the wrong thing!  That the right thing is for everyone in town to bend over backwards to keep a kid who is already being crushed with guilt stay quiet and under that crushing load so he can “lead a normal life.”  One that apparenlty didn’t involve becoming involved in the mob even though that’s the only career option they’ve ever presented the child with.

Trust me….the looks people gave Elizabeth when she had her public “breakdowns”?  Nothing compared to the looks you get when you try to explain this out loud in English.

It was impossible to explain why I doubled over with laughter when Carly…Carly of all people….started lecturing that Lulu should have “protected” Michael by keeping up the insane cover up that makes no frigging sense on the basis of “family loyalty”.  Carly…who never ever uses the name Spencer.  Who at one point decided she could drum LUCKY FREAKING SPENCER out of the family because he dared to arrest Jason for breaking the law.  Who I think we can all agree would have run to Jason and Sonny before Lulu finished the words “Dante is an undercover cop” had Lulu told her that.  Carly who has been one of the head cheerleaders of “family is who you choose not who you are related to by DNA” for the past decade.  She’s lecturing about family loyalty.  The ironry/rage was so great I almost didn’t feel the barbell as it fell on my foot.  They wanted that reaction from me right? 

And I can’t even touch on how loud I screamed WTF when Carly called Lulu a “selfish bitch”.  You know children really say it best.  Takes one to know one.

Sonny is generally our all around champ when it comes to being a douche, but I must admit I scoffed when he stared in today on how awful it was that Lulu didn’t turn out exactly the way Luke would want and may, may have asked “What? Did he find out Nikolas was about to take his crown as high king douche?”   Look I think we all know Luke isn’t going to be thrilled by this but who the hell cares if Luke isn’t going to be thrilled with her?  Luke’s level of involvement with children not named Ethan these days is….nil.  Wooo her dad who Lulu thinks abandoned her will be disappointed in her.  Big fat whoop.

And then it came…….oh I had high high hopes after Friday that the bane of my existance….the storyline you all know I think was written just to spite me….Jason/Lucky’s ridiciulous and completely out of character BFF-ship was thisclose to being over.  When Lucky pulled the gun on Jason I was 99.99% positive it was finally done becuase as we all know….while Jason can threaten you with death on multiple occassions you can’t step to him or tell him he’s full of shit.  You don’t mess with St. Jaysus like that.  But then…Jason spoke…in the police station….that if it had been any other cop that Michael had confessed to and pulled a gun on him, Jason would have shot said cop but because it was Lucky and Jason doesn’t want to hurt Lucky, well I think the dogs in the pet store next door understood me more clearly than the poor fool on the elliptical machine next to me. 

What the hell was that today?  Am I supposed to be on Carly’s side when she had the exact same revelation that she did in April 2008 that she was the reason Michael is screwed from the get go?  Am I supposed to think Sonny’s isn’t a huge douche?  I know Dante/Lulu have the us vs the world thing going on right now but the show does not have to be so literal in this.   I get Carly feeling betrayed but on what planet is Carly loyal to any family than the one she chose wiht Jason and Sonny? 

And lastly….does Bob Guza really have it out for me and is he determined to make me a friendless loser just for thinking Jason, Sonny and Carly sucks?

It’s the last one. You so don’t have to tell me that.

I have enough issues going on in my life right now that I don’t need to watch GH with the following expression on my face for the entire hour.

For the one thing it causes frown lines.  For another it’s not very attractive if not even Steven Lars Webber can pull it off!  And for a final point, one of the hallmarks of daytime is you can figure out what is going on.  And I don’t mean in the repetivie, only morons could miss the point way…I mean in the “Hey I forgot to tape yesterday but the show is still governed by the rules of logic and reason” sort of way.

Because today’s episode?  I think Lost is less confusing!

Ok now first off yes I was eye rolling of the notion that Lucky Spencer, father of TWO children got a one bedroom apartment and put a giant pool table in it just like the one Jason has.  Sure GH….I so beleive that.  But someone please tell me the point of that entirely stupid scene?  Nik couldn’t ask… a lawyer? Alexis?  Anyone else this?  I give Lucky credit for not slugging his assuming ass but really they haven’t spoken and Nik thinks this is the appropraite way to start talking?  Trying to get information he could have gotten from just about anyone else in town?  I just….what the hell was the point? 

Ok now generally I feel the less said about Jason’s “brilliant” and “noble” sacrifice the better. It’s so unbelivable stupid and insane it doesn’t deserve attention.  Because as if, in respect to the idea that if the freaking federal government of the United States of America would go “oh wait…you’ll volunteer to go to jail for a mobster we have evidence to put away?  And while your in jail said mobster will be free to continue to run his criminal empire? Why win win for us all!”  And the idea that I should find this a deep and loving and unselfish sacrifice of Jason, a person who has killed on Sonny’s behalf for years and who helps run this criminal empire, is insulting and makes me want to vomit.   But then Sam started in….and her argument that Jason shouldn’t go to jail because Jake needed him to raise him since Elizabeth is unstable……and I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle her.  Memo to GH…the time to make Jason/Jake happened sailed like three years ago.  As Jason rightly observed yesterday Jake doesn’t have a clue who he is.  And every ounce of social worker in me screams at the notion that tearing a three year away from the only family he’s ever known just because Jason is allegedly his biological father and that should trump all. 

I do admit I laughed at Jason’s expression when Sam brough Jake up.

I think that was supposed to be regret but all I saw was trying to remember who this Jake person was.

Hey look everyone!  It’s a Magical Cancer Patient! Sent to make us all appreciate our lives and improve them in every single way!

Why I bet she has a love of life and stories that will relate in meanigful ways to several characters and give them a new lease on life and love!  Look at the pure goodness and wisdom radiating from her skin!  Why I bet she can even help cure a still un-named mental disorder!

I really want to like this story I do…..but I just have this feeling…..she’s going to be way too Pollyanna for me. Although I do give GH props for being honest in how Magical Cancer Patient will leave us.

Can’t say they aren’t letting us know up front can we?

I have gone on record that I hate how stupid this paternity switch storyline is making everyone…everyone including Helena. But you know what I hate more?  When it forces great talents like Jane Elliot and Constance Towers to play material that is so beneth them.

First off you actually thought Tracy overheard what Helena was talking about I do feel compelled to ask….have you seen a soap opera before? The only way to overhear something is through a door in clear view of everyone who somehow cant’ see you!  Now Tracy and Helena sparring ranks up there with Helena and Alexis sparring truly (and we got both in one episode!) but still playing this ridiculously stupid storyline is beneth all of them.

You know I get that Alexis has had one hell of an early Spring. I do. And I can understand her wanting to see her daughter happy for just a fraction of a second after all that Kristina has been through. I even understand Kristina not wanting to be in the hospital and being ashamed of herself. Totally get all of that. But for reals when did Alexis have a brain transplant?  She credited Nikolas with being good with kids for Kristina smiling?????  Nikolas?  And not say Spencer and his sweater vest?

His fobbing his parenting duties off on Kristina today instead of Alfred is supposed to make me swoon?  Oh what the feck ever GH.  He did nothing.  And while I recognize your way obvious attempts to whitewash the fact Nik is a complete and total tool come on. You spent roughly the last six months having random characters walk around and take pot shots about his parenting skills. Helena even pointed out to Alexis today that he sucks.  And I was supposed to give him credit?  Any credit for Kristina smiling goes to Spencer and his always present sweater vest.  (Also…toatlly impressed both Kristina and Spencer acted like they knew who the other one was! That must be that Cassadine breeding we keep hearing about.)

Oh and when Alexis pointed out to Nik that Helena was clearly up to something and Nik declared he had it under control?  Was I supposed to be impressed?

The man couldn’t tell he was being scammed by Rebecca despite being told point blank by at least three different people that was what she was doing until Lucky let him know Ethan copped to it.  Helena was able to fake her death!  He thinks every day is opposite day! He totally thought that once Lucky had a minute to think about it, he would jump for joy at the prospect of Nik and Liz hooking up.  He thought Liz staying in a hospital that Helena controls (which he knows about) and taking a paterntiy test in a hospital under her real name  with Helena in town was all a good idea AND apparenlty couldnt’ figure out a way to hide a second paternity test from Helena!   I don’t have confidence he could find his way out of Wyndemere if he didn’t have Alfred to tell him where to go! 

This is the person who has Helena under control?

You know on second thought…maybe Alexis didn’t have brain damage after all. Maybe just questionable taste?

Photos by Lisa W’s Soap Heaven

{March 29, 2010}   Bad Romance

There is a lot and I do mean a lot to complain about when it comes to GH.  The horrifically mysogenstic spoutings of Luke Spencer last week for example.  The disturbing view that violence against women is inherited.  The nugget that a man can know his children…expect if they are girls cause woo women are just insanely unfathomable.  The fact that when there is a battle scene between Duh Face and Smirk Face…we are all losers my friends.  Or the fact that a story about a teenage girl’s abuse at the hands of her boyfriend is more about her father and will it wreck his friendship with his rapist friend while her psudeo uncle wonders for the ninty milionth time if he’s going to kill an innocent person and does that make him a bad person.  Or the fact that with the amount of money this show blows on glassware for Sonny to break we probably could have kept a whole housefull of Quatermaines we know and love dearly. 

But I’m not going to talk about any of that right now.  Sure I will, we’ve got another week or two in this story before Guza tries to show us how women really are the root of all evil.  No this show has left a bad taste in my mouth due to one thing……..

Jucky. Has. To. Stop.  Immediately. 

I understand that a decade ago…Lucky and Jason were friendlish. I know Jason helped out when Lucky left home after learning about the rape of his mother by his father. Jason gave Lucky some jobs so he could earn money.  But things have kind of changed since then.  Little things really….things like…ohh I don’t know…..Jason sleeping with Lucky’s wife, getting her pregnant, helping conceal and lie about paternity of said child and basically fobbing off his parental duties on Lucky because God forbid that Jason ever try to change his life for someone. 

Maybe this is me just being an unfathomable girl but I would think such things would be considered dealbreakers when it comes to friendship. 

It would be one thing if this happened years ago….but it happened two years ago.  Jake is still a little boy.  It’s not like this occured when Lucky was thought to be dead and came back brainwashed.  Jake was conceived in 2007! And much of 2008 was Jason carrying on an emotional affair with Lucky’s wife all the freaking time.   The end of 2008 saw Jason’s rivals of the minute THE RUSSIANS kidnapping Jake becuase Jason and Elizabeth were morons who didn’t understand the concept of secret very well.   2009 saw Jason witnessing Niz making out and him not saying a darn thing about it to Lucky, despite discussing it with Sam. 

Yet every bleeding time Lucky sees Jason these days…he feels compelled to give him a rundown on his love life.  On Friday he opened up more to Jason about how he was feeling about the whole paternity shenangins with this current baby.  This is after he pretty much gave Luke the brush off on the same topic of conversation not that long ago.   LUKE!!! The very same Luke this show has bent over backwards trying to convince us in the last few months that Lucky is oh so close to again and that Lucky doesn’t shut Luke out anymore. It’s all behind them now.  Lucky confided his disappointment to Jason instead of Luke.

It’s ridiculous.  And completely out of character for Lucky to be so chummy with a guy who betrayed him repeatedly without a second thought.  He didn’t forgive Nik’s existance on the planet for roughly three years.  (I of course am still holding a grudge for that one)  When Lucky was growing up sure he hung out with Sonny and Jason…but a big part of the reason he went to them for help when he ran away after the rape reveal was he knew it would drive his parents nuts.  He first went to work with Helena to drive Luke nuts…then he joined up with Sonny and Jason to drive Laura nuts.  It was revenge.  And even then the boy scout Lucky only did legal jobs for them. 

Then Lucky was kidnapped, brainwashed and returned to town.  He didn’t exactly welcome Jason with open arms.  (And rightfully so because Jason was his main rival for Elizabeth at the time)  He continued to reject the mob affliated life his father had by becoming a photographer (so WTF….never understood that one) and then he became a cop….a natural choice for a person who was raised to see right and wrong and act immediately on that.  As Lucky said not that long ago….he sees his badge as a way to level out the playing field for those who can’t pay for justice like Sonny, Jason and his father can with dirty money.    THAT Lucky Spencer would not be taking investigationg cues from a mob hitman. 

Because that is exactly what he is doing. Pretty it up all you want with talk of “cops being allowed to seem comptent in PC” or “Lucky being smarter” or whatever excuse you want you use.  The bottom line is Lucky is investigating only what Jason wants him to investigate.  Jason wanted Lucky off of the investigation into Claudia’s murder…Lucky was able to plead COI due to his relationship with Carly and Michael to get pulled.  (Strangely being cousins is a  COI but half-brothers couldn’t get him out of investigating Nik or Ethan. Who knew?)  Jason wants to know what Johnnny is up to….so now Lucky does.   Jason thinks there is a problem with the timeline of Kristina’s story…so now Lucky is investigating his brother’s innocence.   (Although I personally think that might have more to do with the fact Jason doesn’t want to fight with Sam about this anymore) 

That is not being smarter…that’s being a mob lackey.  And that is NOT what Lucky Spencer is.

The last time Lucky was bretrayed…the show had purposefully written him into an isolated corner so the whole world would be convinced that Jason/Liz was the best match ever made.    It made some sort of sense he immediately latched onto Sam because there was literrally no one else he could talk to. He had figured out his siblings knew at least about the one night stand and said nothing to him.  His father was nowhere around. His oldest friend was dead.  His mother was comatose again.  But this time?  People know what happened and are on Lucky’s side.  They would be willing to listen to him.  His mother is back in his life.  He has a new partner in Dante. (where’s my departed Cruz?)  Luke is suddenly cool with him. He and Ethan are inexplicably friendly.  Lulu doesn’t treat him like gum on the bottom of her shoe anymore.  And yet the only person he feels he can talk to is the last person the love of his life betrayed him with?  That’s not a “Spencer edge”. That’s not being “smarter”. It’s being a bigger moron than words can adequately explain. 

Jucky must end. I dont’ care if Steve Burton and Jonathan Jackson have taken a blood brothers oath to only do scenes together. I don’t care if it’s a rider in thier contracts.  It must stop. It makes no sense and it it one of the biggest ways to destroy the character of Lucky Spencer.

{March 16, 2010}   Stuck on stupid and offensive

You know the bad thing about GH’s inability to concentrate on more than two stories for any length of time is A – there is no escape when the storylines are epically bad and B – when they are actually trying to be good, the flaws are oh so much more obvious.

Lets start with the just stupid one and work our way into deeply problematic and hypocritical shall we?

Alright to the shock of only the dead, Lucky was named the winner in this round of “Who knocked up Elizabeth Webber?”.  Which we all guessed since he’s the one walking around talking about how much he doesn’t want to be the father and all Elizabeth has been able to talk about is how much she wants Lucky to be the father.  (Plus you know the whole “Lucky is now played by Jonathan Jackson and will therefore be the predetermined winner in anything that doesn’t involve the mob”)    And also to the shock of the dead, Helena is playing paternity games in some elaborate, I’m sure will fail by November sweeps plot point of Guza’s to drag out a festering triangle just a little longer. 

Now as any fan of Helena can tell you I don’t have an issue with Helena being crafty and screwing with the Spencers.  It’s totally in her nature and right up her alley. What I have major issues with is the major players in this storyline being so brain dead that she litterally could change the test in front of them and they would still fall into her plot like domminos.  We have Nikolas, who has heard Helena’s ramblings about wanting a new heir, has gone so far as to order a second paternity test…not questioning why the test was delayed.  We have Lucky, who was kidnapped and brainwashed by Helena, not suggesting his own second paternity test.  And we have Elizabeth, who is aware of paternity shenanigns that go on at GH (as is Nikolas) , who has been told by Helena that she controls Shadybrooke who is taking this test under her real name at General Hospital while Helena is in town. 

We aren’t even going to go into my beloved Steven being bullied by her by a referrence to something we all know won’t be brought up until he discovers proof of the false paternity results and then will be blackmailed into lying to his sister by lets go with Nik since that’s the obvious choice now. (Always bet on obvious. Always!)  I wept.

All these people are aware of Helena’s reputation and no one has even considered that taking a paternity test while she is lurking around under their real names in a hospital she’s been known to run some scams through is a bad idea? 

Idiots. The whole lot of them. Cam needs to take Jake and this new baby come August and run far far away.

And now onto the attempt to be socially relevant.

I have no issues with a well written, good intentioned, well researched social issue storyline on daytime.  Because of  daytime’s unique daily serial nature I feel they are often the best tool to address taboos and storylines that often force us the viewers to look at uncomfortable situations. Because these characters are in our home every day we grow to care about them as our own family members.  And for many of us, issues dont’ really hit home until we personally experience it.  How many of us didn’t really grasp the sacrifice and unselfish decision it is to donate a loved one’s organs was until we watched Tony’s heartbreaking decision to donate BJ’s heart to Maxie?  Look at how Robin’s diagnosis of HIV has changed since it first happened.  At first fans were upset they would eventually watch Robin die from AIDS and now we have seen her marry and have a healthy child of her own while becoming a doctor.  These storylines often work better on soaps than a one hour drama or dramedy becuase the “afterschool special” feel is often not present.  (As much as I love Glee and Artie…”Wheels” is kinda a turd of an episode.)

And a subject like initimate partner violence among teens is an issue that needs to be addressed and seems perfectly fit for daytime.  It’s a storyline that necessarily takes a long time to build.  The multi-dynamics that are played in such relationships can be shown, instead of what we normally see which is the abused wife/girlfriend when she comes into the hospital and the dynamic caring doctor tries to get her to leave.  So in theory I have no issues with Kristina’s abusive relationship with Keifer and the recent beating Keifer laid down over her ditching him to flirt with way older Ethan. 

Except this storyline stayed focus on Kristina and her possible recovery from this for like a minute.  We have fully moved into “Sonny is a good dad and wants to protect his kids” arc.  Also known as trying to whitewash the fact that Sonny shot  Dante in the chest in coldblood. It’s also the start of the “thaw” between Dante and Sonny so they can bond as father and son and Dante will finally understand that Sonny is a good man who cares for his kids and sending him to prison is a bad bad idea. 

Kristina’s fingering of Ethan led to Sonny’s predictable response of immediately threatening revenge….and the painting of the PCPD as incredibly incompent idiots.  Look I’m no fan of Ethan as you all know but come on!  He was seen by multiple people at the time of the beating. Sam was busy telling him that being a con man was so much worse than being a con woman who is sleeping with a professional killer.  Not to mention the fact tha he is a doofus who’s hasn’t even managed to knock the crap out of someone who really deserves it in his book, namely Nikolas.  He’s not hit the big fat floating head people!  It’s not like Nik is hard to miss! 

Plus….look I know evidence is secondary to Sonny’s judgement but if Ethan litterally just beat her up..wouldn’t he be…I don’t know…COVERED IN HER BLOOD?  Wouldn’t her DNA be all over him?  Also..why is his brother still on this case?  Lucky can claim conflict of interest to try to get out of investigating his second cousin that pretends he doesn’t exist Michael….but he’s so clearly still on the case to investigate half-brother Ethan?

Sonny’s entire tirade to Ethan about how there is no scum lower than a so-called man who would lift a hand to a woman or a child?  Look I agree and so does the prison system pyramid of power…but really Sonny? REALLY?  Yeah I’ve never seen you lift a hand to a woman to hit her….I’ve just seen you shake them down after discovering they are wearing a wire for the FBI (Brenda), shoot them in the head while giving birth (Carly), throw money at them and make them crawl for your pleasure because you doubt the depth of their grief (Courtney’s mother), order their murder in front of a room full of witnesses (Claudia), throw barware at them (all of them really) and throw around the words “bitch”, “whore”, “slut”,”tramp” and the like so much I wonder if you are aware those words are deeply offensive (Again all of them). No Sonny’s not laid a hand on a woman to hit her…but it’s not that far of a stretch to see that he very well could.  His emotionally abusive and manipulative dealings with women is one of the reasons it is vile he’s the lead of this show.

Stories such as this are great for umbrella stories that affect the entire canvas.  But instead of focusing on how Sonny’s hatred of women has trickled down to the daughter who desperately wants his attention and has helped shaped her view that it is entirely ok to be treated exactly like this, the show is going in the predictable route of Sonny the avenging father, Jason the truth seeker who will discover the truth and save everyone and somehow making this all about how Luke and Sonny will survive this blow to their friendship….that just returned to BFF status like a week ago with no explanation. 

It is offensive to me that when given such an opportunity to impact so many women and girls in a positive manner, a chance to really take GH in a new direction and really give it’s lead actor some meaty material to work with, this show instead decides it’s best to use such an important plot to further plots of lesser impact and focus it squarely on how it will affect one man and one man alone.

In the past two days…as is typical with GH…there have been so moments of awesome and some moments of downright horror.  I think we need to start from the bottom and work our way up.

The Horror

I do not want to know what is going on there.  I think it might be safer for us all if we dont’ know what is going on there.  Is he trying to make us long for the glory days of the white man jheri curl perm?  I know Luke has a severe allergy to appearing old (at least that’s my current reason for having nothing to do with Lucky’s children.  I mean I don’t see him passing up the opportunity to tell an entire new generation that Lucky becoming a cop was the worst decision in the history of the entire world!)  but soemtimes you just got to let the fight go.

Probably Only Written to Drive Me Personally Nuts


Can anyone explain the recent bromance between Jason and Lucky to me?  In terms that involve logic and common sense that is?  Cause I don’t get it.  Look I don’t think these two hate each other. I really don’t.  But this buddy-buddy “scratch my back and well Jason won’t really scratch yours but it will appear to be that” stuff is just….insane. First off, is there really no one else in town that Lucky can spill his issues with Elizabeth to besides the last guy she cheated on him with?  You know, the one that is allegedly the biological father of Jake?  The child Lucky beleived for almost a year was his until no one could take the lying about it for Jason’s sake?  I mean I get he can’t talk to Nikolas about this.  Luke is about as unbiased as a Korean short track speed skating fan.  Ethan…well in my mind Ethan doesn’t exist.  Lulu is back to pretending Lucky doesn’t exist.  Leave it to this particular storyline that Guza remembers he freaking isolated Lucky for a decade for no apparent reason! 

I know that in Guza world all stories must involve either Jason or Sonny.  And sure if I beleived for one second Jason cared about Jake, I get the fact that he would be concerned about the out of nowhere trip to Shadybrooke Elizabeth took.  But all this discussing of Lucky’s feelings…Jason giving Lucky advice about how to handle this situation…..the two them practically getting ready to make out in front of us…..makes no sense.  Jason suddenly being cocerned for how this affects Lucky rings false since the previous two years Jason seemed to place concern for Lucky under “concern for the Qs” on his list of priorities.  Also, for all the internet chatter about how Lucky is suddenly super smart (he’s really not…its just the rest of the town is now allowed to consider his ideas instead of laughign at them), only rank idiots of the first order think the perfect person to continually confide your relationships woes to is the secret biological father of the child you are pretending to raise so no dangerous mobsters can harm him or his mother, who cheated on you to produce said child. 

Jason and Lucky being besties is like Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston becoming best friends and shopping buddies tomorrow. 

So Stupid It Could Only Involve Nikolas Cassadine

I’m not made of stone.  The sight of Cam and Jake in their matching haircuts visiting the mommy will of course melt me like a giant stick of butter.  They are impossibly cute and Cameron can do no wrong.  Never ever.    But it’s the reason why they came to visit.

Not because their great-grandmother brought them.  Not because their equally awesome and adorable uncle brought them. Not because their parents talked and decided how they would explain mommy’s visit to the funny farm together in a way that is not terrifying to them.  No. They visited because their meddling, can’t take a hint uncle decided this was the perfect opportunity to make himself look like a family man and not the type of guy who ignores his own kid constantly.   

Did it cross his phenomneally huge floating head this might not be the best idea.  As has been noted many many times, Cam and Jake are young.  Very young.  And Shadybrooke is a mentally institution.  Allegedly people who are seriously disturbed are staying there.  You don’t just bring kids into this environment without consulting with their parents.  Which Nik isn’t.  He’s their non-involved uncle.  That’s it. Much like his telling Ethan about Elizabeth’s rape wasn’t his call, taking Cam and Jake to see Elizabeth wasn’t his either. I know it fit in his plan to prove Elizabeth wrong, that he really is the greatest dad ever….but mission fail Dikolas. 

I have many many issues about this ridiculous way to obvious storyline (like Lucky’s clearly the father since he wants it least, Helena will mess wiht test and Nikolas will play right into Helena’s hands so many times we’ll be demanding a DNA test on him before the new year comes in.) but if Shadybrooke is responsible for Elizabeth’s awesomely reality checking Nik about his lacking in the fatherhood department AND finally seeing through his manipulations that he used in the past to keep her near him (i.e. not actually listenign to her and doing the exact opposite of whatever she said)…then three cheers for Shadybrooke.

By the way..this was Nik’s face when he realized his oh so brilliant plan failed.

Watch out Emmy 2011!

So Awesome Words Can Not Describe It!

I admit I might be a little, tiny bit fangirl about Steven Webber.  Just slightly. And yes I have a total soft spot in my heart for his and Robin’s relationship. But come on you guys, how freaking awesome was he on Friday?

First the way he handled Patrick and Robin’s public argument? Fabulous!  (and for the record..I was on Patrick’s side for that! )  The way he just defied the natural order of things in Port Charles and boldly declared the blasphmous statements that being a mob kingpin who donated to a charity 15 years ago didn’t rate preferential treatment and wasn’t immediately shot for it?  Heavenly!  And then there was him and Robin at Kelly’s.

And he and Robin had what is completely rare in Port Charles, the start of a non-sexual male/female friendship! I know! I didn’t think they did these anymore either! While I would not be opposed to them getting romantic somewhere down the line, I love him being able to articulate Patrick’s side to Robin in a way that didn’t threaten her marriage or sound like a big strong man explaining something to the stupid little woman.  Robin was able to express her point of view without being attacked! 

Look how happy that made her!  And he even was somewhat responsible for Scrubs making up today!  Three cheers for the complete awesomeness of Steven!  Too bad the rest of the show couldn’t find it catching.

Photos courtsey of  Lisa W’s Soap Heaven

{February 9, 2010}   This again?

Dear Tony Geary

Yes I know. I’m shocked I’m talking to you too!  After reading your interviews where you cheered the complete destruction of Luke and Laura’s history just so you can work with an actor that mumbles all the time (what?  Working with Maurice Bernard wasnt’ enough for you?) and how the fans who were howling in protest were just pigeon-holing you…the greatest actor to ever act…in a time that you found hell on Earth…I thought I would never want to have anything to do with you again.  And then when you spent about 99% of your time during Lucky-gate working in back-handed slams to Greg Vaughan I knew I would never like you again. (I hold grudges. Sue me) 

But brother we have GOT to talk. 

See apparently the show wants us to all beleive the last ten years never happened to Lucky. Well except for that pesky Jiz stuff apparently that is ok for us to remember.  And it’s annoying. ESPECIALLY since this show seems to want us to beleive the only issue that is between Luke and Lucky is still the freaking rape of Laura. 

Look I completely acknowledge this was a major major turning point in Luke and Lucky’s relationship. A game changer as it were.  And it deserved every bit of attention it got. Ten years ago.

Did you catch that? It happened ten years ago.  And by the time Jonathan Jackson left the last time…not only had this subject been worn to the ground but it had been somewhat resolved.  Lucky didn’t hero-worship Luke any more true but they had reached an understanding.  While the rape would always be there it was no longer the main issue between them.   There was this little scene that happened on one of Jonathan’s last days called the “you’re still my hero” scene in Kelly’s. You might want to look that up.

In the time between then and now….many many things happened between Luke and Lucky to cause estrangement. There was Luke’s abandoning his children when Laura became ill. There was shoving the raising of Lulu off on Lucky. There’s the outright contempt he showed Lucky when Lucky did what he felt was right and became a cop.  Let us not forget the ignoring of Lucky’s drug problem and his marriage imploding. Or the parading around town of Ethan as the greatest thing as sliced bread.  All of this is great fodder for Luke and Lucky to play with and wrestle with if this show really wants to rebuild the Lucky/Luke relationship. 

But all you seem to harp on is things that happened over a decade ago and were well covered by that point.  And even more maddening you refuse to acknowledge that is exactly what the two of you are talking about!

I get it. I understand you are tired of playing the rape card. Tired of going to that same well every time. I can respect that. Honest!  But you and GH can not have it both ways. You can’t sit there and act like this is the major issue between them and then not name what it is you are obliquely referring to!  If you want to pretend this is the only major reason Lucky has to distrust his father….and clearly you all do…then you have to name it.  Seriously!

There is tons of fodder for Lucky and Luke to get through. Tons of meaty storylines to play. Watching Luke pour drinks while he listens to Lucky declare that Luke was always right is not a good story. It’s boring. It’s lazy. And it’s completely insulting to those of us who watched Luke act like if Lucky was on fire he wouldn’t spit on him.  (Although clearly that was you deciding you were too good to be bothered with actors you considered beneath you) 

You all want to rebuild Luke and lucky’s relationship? Go for it. Be my guest. But pick a less familar path.  And why not have Luke realize that he was 1000% wrong about Lucky.  And Luke was the asshole…not Lucky.  Might do a world of good for you.

{January 26, 2010}   The cheese stands alone

Let me be clear. In no way am I defending the grossness of Niz. You all know me better than that.  I am not going to try to defend Elizabeth’s actions.  There is no defense for this.    And yes I have been waiting for Lucky to call Liz and Nik out with the rest of you.  And since the days of the Jason mess I have been wanting someone to scream at Liz.

But the “It’s All Liz’s Fault and She’s the Only One to Blame”  hit parade is ridiculous.  Completely and totally.

First we have Lucky channelling Sonny and calling her every name in the book. Bitch. Slut. Whore. Tramp.  Now yes he has a right to be angry and lash out.  But when the same character called her a “lying whore” after the Jake reveal the entire internet slammed him as not being the real Lucky.    And allegedly he was showing remourse later when he was with Luke but I didn’t see it.  Classic Lucky  Spencer guilt and remourse is him about drowning in self hate.  Not alcohol.  Now let us compare with what he yelled at Nikolas…the equally guilty party.

“Cassadine through and through.”

Now I know for a Spencer this is the height of insult.  But really? That was it?  If Liz got all that and Nikolas didn’t deserve at least a “bastard my mother was right to abandon”?  Lucky was lookign to destroy them and he knows their buttons. Liz’s is the boys.  Nik’s is his insecurity where Laura is concerned.  He went there with Liz. Why the hell not with Nik? 

And lets examine the fallout that’s been Emmy baiting out there.  We have Carly declaring that Liz is now an unfit mother and Jason…..the never changing murderer for hire mind you…..should sweep in and claim Jake…taking that child away from teh only parents he’s ever known and his brother.  Cause that’s so smart.  And Carly…going on about how Liz is a nympho who’s priorities are in her pants…which make her an unfit mother. Carly.  Sitting in judgement of sleeping with two brothers. Has she forgotten why everyone fell for her Michael is Jason’s son lie so easily? SHE SLEPT WITH BROTHERS!  Half of her issues with Jax are due to her cheating on him with Sonny.  And while no she didn’t say anythign to Liz..come on. It’s Carly. She’s going to.  We all know that. 

And Lulu.

Ok so I get that as Nik’s sister she would be inclined to want to protect her brother and I appreciate the fact that she is stuck in the middle here. I do. But holy hell.  She knew about Nik’s feelings for Liz. She blamed Liz completely for them.  She made the comment that at least they weren’t sleeping together, which Nik did not correct and yet she is still furious with Liz more than Nik.  Nik repeatedly owned up to his own fault.  Lulu’s response was basically “yeah yeah….we all know Liz is a slut”.    She even was all angry about the Jason involvement….when hello she basically hand waved that away and told both Liz AND Jason that she totally understood why the Eternal One Night Stand from Hell happened.  She was one of the biggest proppers of Jiz should be together and happy.  She went off on her brother for not forgiving Liz in like five seconds after he found out about the ONS.  People who spent the majority of two years propping a couple do not get to turn around act offended by it.

Now lets move on to her confrontation with Liz…which while she confronted Nik in private….Liz she went after in front of her friends and work colleges.

Where the entire town…for no reason…just stood there and watched.  Robin..who knew about this…did nothing but looked shocked. (Why? She knew what was going on between Liz and Nik. She’s known the longest of anyone) Patrick, who’s been a good friend to Liz…did nothing. Epiphany who doesnt’ hesitiate to tell anyone else to shut up and quit disrupting her hospital just stood there.  Sonny was there because all stories must involve Sonny.  Lisa was there…well I can’t figure out why Lisa is in Port Charles in the first place so confusion over her is nothing new.    Lulu just kept going…again I don’t necessarily disagree that the stuff needed to be said and I recognize a tear a character down to build her back up storyline when I see one.  But really…I’m supposed to buy all these people..most of whom like and respect Liz even when they don’t agree with her choices just stood there? That Ethan of all people had enough sense to get Lulu out of a hospital where there are sick people and her shrieking might do damage to their recovery?    I was feeling gratitude for Ethan? I don’t want to feel anythign for Ethan other than disgust and annoyance at his mere pressence!   

And furthermore…why the feck was Ethan the only one to check on Liz?  Why not Robin who knew this was going on? Why not Patrick who’s always been a good ear to Liz? Why did no one call her brother the Chief of Staff of the hospital and tell him what went down?  No. This random still unwashed grifter was the only one to check on her?  I call shenanigns!

In one episode this show had me agreeing with Nikolas (it is his fault too and he was the instigator), Jason (Carly’s logic was so seriously flawed it’s a wonder she’s able to walk upright) and feeling gratitude for Ethan (for getting Lulu out of there and making sure Liz was ok afterwards.)   I hate all three of them and never EVER want to feel anything other than disgust and boredom from them.  Are my paranoid thoughts right and Guza does know who I am and he’s purposely trying to drive me to a mental institution?  In that case…you win Guza. I check in tomorrow.

I knew from the beginning that GH would never shove Nik under the bus. They trotted out that “going dark because of Rebecca” excuse so often it became a great drinking game!  And lets be honest…the second Jon signed the new contract we all knew Lucky wasn’t going to be shoved under there.  Come on.  We all know if Greg was still there we’d have heard about Maxie, the drugs, Sam and Sarah. We all know it.  Instead all we have heard is Liz and Jason and the Jake lie.  I knew pretty much from minute one that Liz was always going to be the one who shouldered all the blame for this. After all that’s what they did with the implosion of Jason/Liz.  She couldn’t handle the danger was the reason, not Jason’s complete lack of interest in changing anything about himself.  And I have seen a lot, and I do mean a lot of characters shoved under the bus on this show.   So all this does not surprise me.

What does astound me is the praise and cheering on of this behavoir I’m seeing. Yes Liz acted reprehensively. Yes Nik andLiz deserve to get lambasted. But that’s the point. Both of them do. Not just Liz.   Where’s the violent cursing out of Nik? Where’s the accusations that Nik is a damn poacher who’s done this twice before?  That Nik should have learned his lesson after Emily and Courtney?  That if Nik was so damn concerned about his brother, he wouldn’t have been instigating anything with the love of his brother’s life?  Why has no one brought this up!  It’s completely relevant!  Yes these words are about three years too late when it comes to Liz…as they should have come after the Jason incident.  But come on people!  They are two people who screwed up here (pun intended) and only one…the female….is getting the heat.  That’s it.  Nik is getting off LIGHT. 

So let me just say…when this type of behavior befalls your favorite character (and Liz isnt’ mine.  So dont’ go there) and you are crying out about Guza’s hatred of women…I want everyone to remember this exact week…and how loudly you cheered for it. Because it’s reactions like this…that allow Guza to get away with what he does.

{January 20, 2010}   Bash me in the head with a bat.

You know I think I should just change this blog’s name to “Things about the way GH writes the character of Lucky Spencer that pisses me off” cause lets face it…99% of my virtual ink is related to this topic.  Mainly cause the writers are so determined to be dumbasses about it.

First let me say I know Jonathan Jackson is a great actor. He’s won a lot of Emmys. He’s super talented. At one time I was High Queen Scary fan girl counting down the days till he turned 18 and it was no longer illegal for me to like him.  (And I wasn’t the only one. Hello my former JJ-aholics who were damn proud of it. I remember who you are.)  So before you sit there and lob the “You’re just a bitter Greg Vaughan fan” at me…yes I do love Greg but that doens’t mean I don’t enjoy Jon as well.  I am mature like that. Mostly.  We’ll just forget about my Guza/Phelps/Frons vodoo doll collection in my closet. 

But come on.  This isn’t Lucky Spencer that he is playing.  This is some bizzaro land Lucky. 

Let’s start with his reaction to Niz and his decision not to confront them right then and there.  I get devistation.  I get anger. I get the want for revenge and the need to screw with their heads.   However I am a mean spirited and petty person.  I nurse grudges and I hate long and hard.  I am told this is not healthy and well my relationship track record would bare this out.   If the situation had been reveresed I could see Nik waiting to confront. I could see Elizabeth waiting to confront.  Why? Cause I’ve seen them do that.  What i have seen Lucky do in the many years he has been blindsided by information he does not want….is confront it directly.

Nik announces he’s his brother….Lucky confronts him and Laura.  Lucky finds enough information to convince himself that Luke did in fact rape Laura…he went home, packed a bag and confronted Luke.  Laura shows up in town and Lucky realizes Luke hasn’t told her anything about him leaving home….he admittedly acted like an ass to her but he confronts her about how he doesn’t understand her choice.  He finds out Maxie faked her pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage….he confronted her. He found out about Elizabeth and Jason’s one night stand from hell….he called Jason garbage, went home and confronted Elizabeth.  He finally found out about Jake…he punched Jason and confronted Elizabeth about lying to him.  He found out about Sam watching Jake being kidnapped and hiring goons to pull guns on Cameron…he confronted her.  He knew Elizabeth was holding back on information from him regarding that…he confronted her.  He suspected Jason knew more about Sam’s hit and run than Jason was telling…he confronted Jason.  He suspects Michael knows more about Claudia’s murder than he’s telling…he confronted Michael, Carly, Jason and Sonny. 

Are you seeing the same pattern I am?  Lucky gets shocked…he gets confirmation…he confronts and blasts them. 

Lucky does not play mind games.  Lucky does not go to town and act like Mark McGwyer and Barry Bonds after a bender. (Although that was flipping hysterical)  He does not start yelling at an immaginary Luke making wonder if he’s already off the wagon. (more on that later I’m sure) Lucky Spencer confronts the second he gets confirmation.  It has remained one of the few defining characteristics of this character no matter who’s playing him.

Yeah I know we are knee deep in JONATHAN JACKSON THE GREAT EMMY BAITING OF 2010. And I’m fully aware that just about every last critic is sitting there wetting themselves to praise it and act like this is some great return of Lucky Spencer or that only Jonathan could have delivered this when the truth is only Jonathan was going to be written this type of stuff.  And I’m fully aware that apparently the writing staff just got informed they had a trianlge they needed to blow for February sweeps.

But why couldn’t he blast them right then and there….then go home….have his bat attack….if they want him to play mind games…..he then goes back and acts like he’s ok…it was a shock but he’ll be alright…he’s happy for them…….you know like the way he reacted the other times he got blindsided like this and got 30 seconds to react……Nik is dumb enough to fall for this. Elizabeth’s really off the map of sanity actions on Monday seems to indicate she’d be dumb enough to fall for this.  Lucky can then extract revenge in any number of Luke-ish schemes (which the show is aiming to make us think he’s now like)  and he can still fall off the wagon.  All Emmy baiting can still happen….the critics can still give themselves orgasims….and it would still be soapy…without dragging this out for a single solitary second longer than necessary. 

And lets not even start on the, shall we say way too obvious, assencion of Lucky to the all-knowing, most popular guy save Jason in the town.  When Jasper Jax proposing to name Lucky Josslyn’s godfather is not the part of the show that throws me the most, it’s Carly’s protest that they barely know Lucky things are not well. Factually speaking Carly is correct. They do barely know Lucky. Except she’s listened to his concerns regarding Michael’s behaviors, she thought someone had invited Lucky to Michael’s birthday party, she suggested allowing Michael to confess to Lucky…..all things I’ve seen her do in the last month…..then the a new viewer would think that yes…Carly and Jax DO know Lucky very well.  At least well enough to consider his thoughts on parenting Michael.  I work with foster parents and natural parents for my job. I work with them closely for months and in some cases years….and I still can’t get people to consider my ideas on things I have studied and proven worked.  And I damn good at my job.   Apparently I just have to walk around town with the name Lucky Spencer and it will work!

This is not Lucky Specner “getting back to who he should have always been”.  Bullshit on that.  Even back when Jonathan Jackson first played the role…Lucky was referred to as “Laura’s son”….by Luke and others.  He has had his Luke moments….which generally led to him getting in his most trouble.  His poker addiction was from thinking like Luke.  His getting shot as a child was from thinking like Luke.  Throwing Nikolas down the stairs…thinking like Luke.  His drug addiction because he wouldn’t talk about his issues and he had this mythical idea of what he was supposed to be and felt like a failure at it so he drowned his failure in chemicals….well if that’s not Luke drinking for an entire decade I don’t know what is.  This is Bob Guza trying to A – playcate angry fans who about rioted in the street when the entire town lined up to lecture Lucky on why Ethan was so great, B- trying to rehab Luke’s  (and Tony Geary’s) image without actually having to go back and say that making Ethan a Spencer and the entire way they wrote that storyline(and the way they have written Luke in regards to his eldest child) was a big fat fattie mistake and C – trying to act like they didn’t just lay a ginormous goose egg by laying all their sweeps eggs in the Franco basket.

et cetera