Sarcastic Clapping

{March 5, 2010}   Wanted: Earth logic

My mom always used to say that common sense was the least common of all the senses.   What she forgot to mention was that some people not only lacked common sense, they also lacked a logical thought process that resembled things we do here on planet Earth.   If she had told me that, maybe then I could understand the thought process of some of the citizens of Port Charles.

For example, Sonny.  Who has apparenlty convinced himself that the fact he pulled the trigger and shot Dante in the chest is completely the fault of everyone in Port Charles but him.  It’s Jax’s fault becuase Jax has the crazy idea that Sonny being in jail for crimes he does commit all the time is a good thing!  And he knew that Dante was Sonny’s son and didnt’ tell him for this elaborate clearly jealousy driven revenge plan.  It’s also  Patrick’s fault for not stopping Sonny in the street and breaking doctor-patient confidentiality to tell him what he overheard Olivia say.  I’m sure he is just kicking himself that AJ is really dead now because you  just know he thinks somehow AJ did this all on purpose.  Why AJ, Jax and Patrick probably built a time machine, went back in time to tell a teenaged Olivia (Cause for serious I have totally forgotten how old she was since they change it every other episode) to hide Dante from Sonny.  And then clearly, they went into the future and hide in Sonny’s house and they shot Dante from over Sonny’s shoulder.

Sonny….people think you should go to jail because you are a fucking criminal.  Stop breaking the law and people might stop trying to send you the big house.  Also, YOU PULLED THE FREAKING TRIGGER OF THE GUN.  YOU PLANNED THE DAMN MURDER ATTEMPT.  Quit your whining that SHOCKER your newly found son doesn’t instantly love you and kinda resents the hell out of the fact that YOU SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST.  My God, I think you get that concept since I have to hear you whine about Deke every three point five seconds.

I’d talk about Carly’s “reminder” to Jax about what he would lose if he continued this ridiculous vendetta against poor poor wrongly persecuted Sonny….but I have blocked that nightmare from my memory.  And Carly logic defies explanation at all times not just this week.

And we are going to file this last one under be careful what you ask for.  See on Thursday my friend and I were emailing each other at work as we usually do.  And we were discussing how curious we were about Nikolas’s thought process because we did not understand it in the least.  Our only explanation was that he thought eveyrone was playing Opposite Day and that’s why it doesn’t matter what words come out of people’s mouths….clearly they mean something else.

Good Lord I was just joking.  His explanation of his thought process the past two days has left me with  more questions than answers.  Liz is in Shadybrooke because she doesn’t know how she feels about him?  It’s not the suicide attempt she pulled when discovering she may possibly be tied to him for life?  If papers are private Helena will totally not go snooping?  And yet he thinks he needs to order a second secret paternity test because of her?  He wants the baby to be his because it will be a bridge to Liz? Like Kristina was for Sonny and Alexis?  Yeah Sonny and Alexis have nothing between them anymore but gosh Alexis is defending Sonny on murder charges?  At that point I was laughing so hard I might have passed out and had to finish the scene the next day.

And he just didnt’ stop.  He’s not seeing Elizabeth or talkign to her per her request, but he’s looking for her at the hospial (everyone seeing through him was made of epic amounts of win) and he’s sending his lawyer over with a ridiculous gift that would almost guarantee some sort of repsonse from her.  He’s not trying to pressure her but he’s going out of his way to press his case to her best friend that she’s leaning on right now.  And when Elizabeth turned down his offer, he asked why Jason could take care of Jake but he couldnt’ take care of his kid?

Well Nik as everyone has pointed out to you multiple times this week, you dont’ take care of the kid you have.  Also….YOU DON’T KNOW THIS IS YOUR CHILD.  And finally…could you use actual FACTS?  Jason isnt’ taking care of Jake. LUCKY is.  And Elizabeth had been attempting to dissolve that trust.  Also….you do realize you argued that if the baby was yours you wanted Elizabeth to hide it from you for years because she doesnt’ want the baby to be a part of your life, you’ll be locked in almost constant custody battles, your child will resent the hell out of you for ignoring him or her (hey Spencer will do that clearly) and you won’t actually be friends at all? 

Think Elizabeth needs a roommate at Shadybrooke? I’m feeling the need to check in.

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